“Drag”
11 x 17.5, Oil on Panel
Lisa Rae Winant
Used by permission of the Arist
Moe looks lost while she walks alone in the dismal field. The sounds of Mother Nature moaning in discomfort, causes the harsh winds to swirl around franticly. A storm is coming somewhere in the near future, but its arrival is unknown.
Living in her sixties, Moe is sick and tired of the gray clouds forecasted above her. No one can relate to her agony…being diagnosed with breast cancer again was unimaginable to her. Enduring radiation and chemotherapy for the third time was not something she had planned on doing.
She truly wishes to refuse treatment. Moe can’t help but think, “But what would my family say?”
It’s the middle of November, which means fall is ending with winter arriving in no time. The surrounding scenery captures what words could never explain. The trees look weak from the dry and frigid nights that have gone by. Nearly all color is drawn from the leaves. A select few remain dangling from branches, refusing to let go of the past. The skies begin to darken…
Moe takes in a deep, long drag of nicotine; she can feel the cigarette smoke tickling her lungs. It seems to bother everyone…except herself.
Moe’s family is shocked and concerned with her actions; constantly trying to comprehend why she picked up her smoking habit again. Her son Jack asks, “Mom, don’t you know you’re hurting your chances of survival? While her daughter Jane states, “How could you be so selfish?” Moe had been smoke-free for nearly twenty years, but she wishes to enjoy things that make her happy.
Moe thinks to herself, “Whether I like it or not, I’ll be gone sometime soon and that cigarette tastes better than chocolate.” She knows her family will never truly understand.
That evening was quiet. Perhaps everyone felt full from the Thanksgiving feast they just shared together or maybe nobody knew what to say. Cancer is never easy, especially with winter just around the corner.
Your story is very vivid and raises a common question about people who are already ill and choose to "smoke" (in this case) because they feel that when they pass, at least they passed doing and being how they want to be in the end.
ReplyDeleteMy grandmother passed from breast cancer. I can remember caring for her and giving her anything she wanted, no matter what the consequences were. In my mind I just thought, 'What difference does it really make, she is passing and she should enjoy anything she wants to while she is still here.'
In the movie "A walk in the Clouds," starring Keanu Reeves; there was a line in it uttered by Anthony Quinn. He was talking to Keanu about the richness of life, and how his doctor told him no salt, no drinking, no smoking. He continued saying no sweets, as he reached in Keanu's box for another sensational piece of specialty chocolate he was supposed to be selling door to door. He contradicted his doctors demands and while moaning in pure blissfulness as he bit into another chocolate and yelled, "What does he know about the needs of a soul!" I agree with the script writer!
We are indulgent beings. I know I am. If I get an terminal ailment, I would want to be free of any labels that might accuse me of 'bringing it on sooner.' My grandmother was happy, and that made me happy. Her time was her own to spend, not mine. Thanks Sarah!
Such fantastic imagery, yet, my favorite line is "The surrounding scenery captures what words could never explain." The end of fall and breast cancer are two terrible things. Not surprisingly, they do seem to go hand-in-hand. Good job :)
ReplyDeleteI love the line "A select few remain dangling from branches, refusing to let go of the past." That is quite eloquent and beautiful, yet heartbreaking as well, like the story as a whole.
ReplyDeleteYou are very creative with your words! Much like the lines people have already mentioned :) I bet you would be great at writing poetry
ReplyDeleteImpressive work Sarah! I like the descriptive detail you use; it enables the reader to visualize the story while reading.
ReplyDeleteI think you have captured an imagery that is often only seen by the family of those involed in the battle with cancer. Society has put such a negative face on diagnosis that most patients tend to have a very dismal outlook on their survival, especially after three different sets of treatment. I aso think you have made it very easy to compare her depression and condition to the changing of the seasons in a metaphorical sense. Excelent Job!
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